Getting Good Head November 17, 2005

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A picture speaks a 1000 words, which is why you’re only getting about 100 on this baby. Just look at it - Steven Spielberg eat your heart out. It's about as alien a device as you can get. Scare granny, terrorise the kids, experiment in the bedroom, this gadget can do it all. Well, maybe not but for £12, how can you go wrong with this head massager. The big knobbly bit is not for self-gratification but for holding the spidery masseur in place while its robotic Tendrils of Tenderness get to work.

Apparently, it stimulates acupressure points and millions of nerve endings, promoting the release of endorphins. These are the body’s feel good natural drugs that healthy joggers experience while trundling along. Since they stop being produced when the exertion stops, you now know why joggers look so damn pissed off when they have to stop for traffic. That's right, they just lost their fix. Goddamn junkies.

Hmm, £12 for a sexy head rub with a natural high thrown in or 5 miles of pain, spasms, torn ligaments, blisters and possible coronary? Tough choice.

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